i had a weird dream. i was driving reaney's truck except it was bigger and it was black. i dont really know where i was going but i drove it around to many different places. i remember driving it down a snowy road once. a lot more happened then what i am describing, i just dont know how to describe the rest. once i was done, and i had been driving around to places for like a week, i brought the truck back to the north parking lot of the school and i got out and realized that i had been driving all this time without a license. i was extremely scared and extremely grateful that no police had pulled me over while i was driving. i was also very worried about reaney knowing that i was driving his truck around let alone without a license. it's like i started the dream off borrowing the truck from him but then when i brought it back i was worried that he would know i was driving it, like i stole it or something. i think these feelings connect back to the feelings and worries i had about missing any part of cross country, like being late to a practice or missing a practice or forgetting to do something that he told us we needed to do, like tell our parents something. i think these are the same feelings i got when i realized that i had missed the team photo. i was so MAD. and scared about what reaney was going to say or do, like not let me run in prune juice. i remember last year i almost didnt run in prune juice because i lost that damn clearence slip but since i was cleared anyways it didnt matter if i had a slip or not. i remember the amazing amount of relief i felt when i knew i was going to be able to run. i apologized to him that i forgot about pictures but he was more saddened by the fact that i wasnt in the picture my senior year. i was much more happy about the fact that he wasnt mad than the fact that i missed the picture. i never missed a cross country practice all four years. not for injury not for sickness not for a haircut not for a dentist appointment not for a doctors appointment not for anything. i never slacked off in any practice. maybe ONCE but only once. i was always worried about what reaney thought of me. i wanted to be dependable and smart and trustworthy. i never wanted to be in his bad graces. not that he was particularly scary or mean but, i dont know i just respected him. and the sport.